I’ll see you here – in the comments – when Biggest Loser starts!

And, in true Fat Bridesmaid fashion, I’ll have a summary up after it’s done!

Here you go!

FB left huge shoes to fill, and a great purse to match!

We start by being reminded that Ed went home. Sadness all over again. Poor Heva.

Then everyone walks into a room of sweets., sweets, sweets. Brownies, cupcakes, donuts, Reese cups. Alison explains that the winner of today’s temptation assigns teams. How do they determine the winner? The person who eats the most calories. And not only does that person assign teams, but also trainers. And there’s more…The challenge is in the dark! No one will know what anyone else eats! 10 minutes. Dark. Sweets. Wow.

And Heva starts. Tries to control? Or tries to all work together? (It is at this moment that I officially miss Fat Bridesmaid. It’s not the same without you!) Amy (Purple is whiny!) gets upset because she doesn’t want what Heba wants. Stop crying! Just go eat something! Red Daddy Phil quietly sneaks and eats a Reese cup. Heba eats a donut. Red Daddy Phil is over there, being all quiet, and eating Reese cups. Heba gets nervous – she suspects ‘cause of the noise of the Reese cup wrapper. And now she’s angry. She’s asking him questions, and can’t answer ‘cause his mouth is full. And Purple Crying Amy is – surprise!- crying again. So she eats a brownie. Heba eats another donut. Red Daddy Phil Goes for another Reese cup.  But does he make it in time? Commercial #1.

Final challenge tally: Only 3 people ate. Phil ate 2 peanut butter cups – 210 calories. Amy ate 1 brownie – 340 calories. Heba ate 2 donuts – 400 calories. Red Momma is worried that Heba is after Red. Heba has 30 minutes to decide teams. Other teams that ate are nervous. Heba is angry that Red tried to undermine her when she was trying to keep Red together and with her. Red is scared of losing each other and/or Bob. Purple is afraid teams will be the same.

The moment of truth: Black and Blue. Heba is staying on Team Bob. Other blue are Vicky (from Brown), Amy from Red,  whiny purple Amy, and Brown Dad. Jillian’s black team is Renee from pink, Colleen, other Pink lady, Red Dad goes to Jillian’s team, Shallay from Purple. All she did was break up Purple and Red. Other than that, the teams are the same. Commercial break #2.

Random thought during commercial break: Does anyone else have the Obama channel? When an Obama ad comes on, I get the option to press “select” to take me to his message. 24 hours of Obama. Bizarre.

Random commercial break thought #2: No gastric bypass surgery commercials tonight. Finally.

And we get welcomed back by Hot Bob. Hello. And Heba is crying. So is Red/Blue Momma Amy. They explain to Bob that Heba won the challenge and got rid of Phil and brought in Purple Crying Amy. And Bob questions her motivations and how making personal choices will come back and bite her. Bob says that if she would have been truly thinking strategy, she would have put both boys on her team (I called that one!). Red/Blue Amy vents to Bob.

Now Jillian meets her new team – sees Phil and doesn’t see Purple Crying Amy. Jillian is kinda excited – she’s got a boy! He seems fine with it. Michelle from pink sits down with Jillian and admits that she’s questioning if she should stay. She recounts the divorce/abandonment by Mom story. How does being here with her Mom make her Dad feel? Jillian again steps in, as the true daughter of a therapist, and encourages and speaks the truth. Michelle continues to struggle with her relationship with her Mom. She’s on the verge of leaving to avoid her emotions. She recognizes that’s why she eats.

We get a sneak peak at a 14 hour challenge! And the commercials are back!

I am going to get up to get a banana. Did I mention that I didn’t have my usual scone this morning? Or that we took an hour walk tonight? Oh yeah. I did now. Oh yeah…banana.

5:55am – Alison starts waking people up. (I’m awake that time of morning, by the way.) Challenge starts in 10 minutes. Heba “I’m so tired it’s unbelieveable.” Whatever. First challenge is for the team to work together – sunup to sundown. They have an entire day to climb the nearby mountain as many times as they can. The cameras at the top and bottom will record their progress. Each person gets one point. Each picture with all 5 members gets a bonus point. The reward? 2 pound pass.

And they’re off!

Black strategy was to stay together no matter what for the bonus points. Blue/Brown mom was having a hard time, so Blue split up. Mr Brown/Blue started kicking butt to make up laps. It’s all on him to makeup for the bonus points. Black is doing an awesome job sticking together. But it’s more than 100 degrees! Everybody’s whiny. Talking to each other about taking a break. Both teams agree to take a break – that no one would climb during the break. They are all in bed now! IN BED! Shellay gets smart. Says she’s going to eat, but she goes and talks to Colleen. Interesting that Shellay is the mastermind with her daughter on the opposite team, eh? Drama!

Commercial allows me time to smear Nutella on my banana.

And twitter.

Shellay and Colleen continue to scheme. How do they know that anyone else is being honest? Colleen chooses to be honest. I’m assuming Shellay did the same. And we have more of the same: Black rocking it out together. And Mr. Red/Blue running, running, running. Blue is a mess. Not together. No bonus points. And 13 hours after it starts, the whole Black team are smiling in pictures. And the Black team is running. All of them. Even tired ol’ Shellay. With less than 20 seconds to spare. As a group, they covered over 160 miles. One time walked 80, other 78. 162 points to Black – Black won a 2 pound pass. Brady ran over 20 miles. That’s huge. I’m so proud of him. He almost redeems all the crap the Brown team has put out. Did she ever tell how many points Blue had? Anyone?

And as we go to commercial, my computer decides once again that it doesn’t like my internet. Why only during BL? Anyone? Now I’m really glad I decided to do this in Word and then cut and paste.

Hour 2 begins with Blue chilling by the pool with product placement for Jello. Insert eye roll here. Now he’s using cool whip in a can. How processed is that? Whatever.

They tell Bob about the challenge. Blue was 147. That’s a huge difference. But Mr. Brown/Blue did a good job keeping it as close as he could!

Jillian meets with Michelle again – feels like she’s betraying her Dad by being here with her Mom. And Jillian lets her call her Dad. Is that breaking the rules? Gotta love Bad Ass Jillian. Breaking the rules for all the right reasons. And he tells her how silly she is! All she needs is the okay from him. She still doesn’t know what she’s gonna do – still feels guilty for being with Mom. It would be easier for her to just go back and not face her feelings. But what would that do to her weight loss efforts?

Teaser before commercial: Alison asks Michelle straight up if she wants to stay.

Michelle and her Mama talk about Michelle staying or not. Still no resolution.

Bob and Red/Blue Momma chat about Milk. Wow. Her face looks thin today. I prefer 2%, thank you.

And then he proceeds to kill her on the treadmill.

Last Chance Workout is painful to watch. Can’t imagine going through it.

Blue’s gotta work harder since the Black team has a 2 lb. advantage.

And now they’re at the scale.

Alison confronts Michelle – no one has ever left by choice before. And it’s another commercial.

Do y’all see Office commercials? Dwight having a baby? Hilarious. I can’t wait!

And there’s the bariatric surgery commercial. Long time, no see!

They’re back, and Michelle is going to stay. Makes a commitment to stay until the game sends her home. I’m proud of her. And I hope we put it behind us.

And the weigh in:

Michelle (Pink/Black)– 7 pound loss
Renee (Pink/Black)– 5 pound loss
Phil (Red/Black) – 8 pound loss
Colleen (Yellow/Black) – 5 pound loss (She looks so good!)
Shellay (Purple/Black) – 5 pound loss
Black percentage: 2.66% + 2 lbs advantage (reward) = 2.84%

Blue needs to lose more than 33 lbs to be safe

And to commercial we go.

Amy (Crying Purple/Blue) – 9 pound loss (Go Team Bob!)
Vicky (Brown/Blue) – 6 pound loss
Brady (Brown/Blue) – 6 pound loss
Amy (Red/Blue) – 6 pound loss
(of course we go to commercial before Heba’s weigh-in)
Heba (Orange/Blue) – 8 pound loss

And the crowd goes wild! Blue is safe! Go Team Bob!

It would have to be so hard to know that your partner could be the one going home. Michelle lost the biggest percentage, so we know she is safe. It’s a good thing for her, too, ‘cause as wishy washy as she was being, I’d vote her off. Now the separated family members are saying potential goodbyes.

Now black has to decide who to send home. The quick decision, of course, is Phil. But they need his numbers, right? I agree with him. From strategy, they need to keep him. Would it be smartest to break up the Pink alliance? They’re the only original pair left on the team. Colleen is thinking long-term….And here they come. Carrying their votes on the platters. (Random: I’m so glad Carolyn Rhea isn’t still here making her terrible fat jokes.)

And the votes:

Michelle (immune) – voted for Shellay
Phil – voted for Renee
Renee – voted for Shellay (the zoom on vote almost gave me a headache)
Shellay – voted for Renee
Colleen – (poor thing having to be the tie breaker!) voted for Shellay

Shellay (Old Purple team) will go home tonight. She says she’ll be good at home. She has a great start, she’s excited. She’s sad about leaving her daughter Purple Crying Amy, but Shellay says she’ll be fine too.

Not a single vote for Phil. Interesting. Well played, girls.

Wow. She looks different from when she came. I love watching Jillian yell at her again. Jillian yelled at her a lot. She deserved it a lot. I hope she can do it at home.

She’s so cute now! She’s cut her hair short. They told her dress size currently, but not her weight. Hmmm…

For next week: Looks like a ropes course. And Red Family turn against each other?

See you then!