I am so glad that you are here to see me today. It means a lot.

So the last few days have been a mess. I don’t even know what happened when anymore. But I did remember some things I think I forgot to telll you about yesterday.

My Papaw said that my Mamaw was “the best wife” and he had us give her a round of applause.

Papaw told us in his jarbled speech all about the mansion and that he could hear his Jesus coming down the hall.

My family (around 30 of us) put away 35 double cheeseburgers, 10 large pizzas, 3 orders of breadsticks, and a few bags of chips without breaking a sweat.

My husband is awesome.

Today was another day where things seem to get easier. We talk to each other about making peace with tragedy. We wonder why he is holding on – what he has left to do. What he has left to accomplish.

This morning, just my grandmother and my uncle were in the room. They were talking with him, and all of a sudden he told them to take care, that he was going, and said goodbye. Then he pulled his sheet over his head. My uncle told that they just looked at each other while he didn’t breathe for a very long time. And then he did. So they pulled the sheet back down and he was sleeping.

For some reason, I find this story absolutely hilarious.

And then this afternoon, he woke up and said, “Is this church?” He decided he wanted to stand up again. Mamaw told him he was okay where he was. So he decided that everyone else had to stand then. So we all stand around the bed an listen to him sing a very identifiable – although jarbled and  wandering – Amazing Grace. We tried to sing with him, but he was skipping around in the song. He didn’t care. He was just making a joyful noise. And it was very joyful. Then Nathan and Nick played him a few songs and he went back go sleep.

The nurses say that his vitals are stable. His organs are shutting down, but really aren’t able to put any anticipated time on his passing other than “soon.” And after the encore that he’s shown the last few days – after so many days of barely conscious – I think we are all okay. He has seen that there is less crying in his room and more joy. Maybe the joy is what he has been waiting on.

We are back in Lexington tonight. We will go to work tomorrow. We will tell stories of my Papaw every chance we get. When we need to, we will go home. I have decided that unless he asks for me or Nate by name, we probably won’t go home until he passes. I have seen enough. I told him goodbye several nights ago. I know Papaw is okay. He tells us so. Often.

I actually have not cried at all while writing this. Not all.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I know our grief is only beginning. I know we still need your prayers. Please know that we do have more peace than I thought possible.

And thank you for letting me share his story with you.