I don’t know who I am anymore. It is impossible to make me happy.
I am torn. I want to be healthy. I really do. But my heart? It still wants sugar.
We drove to Louisville today. And, ever since watching the Throwdown with Bobby Flay, I’ve been thinking about Lynn’s Paradise Cafe.
The menu looked amazing. Everything that we saw carried by us looked good. They use local ingredients whenever possible, so I was so excited. I thought about a salad. I thought about a BLT. I thought about a BLT salad. But, in the end, I turned off my brain. I saw this.
Bourbon Ball French Toast. Really? Really.
My thinking? When will I ever be here again? It looked awesome on the Food Network. It looked awesome at the table we walked by. I love the French toast at Cracker Barrel. I like everything on it. It’s been a REALLY long time since I’ve eaten something that was quality and decadent. I was content with my order.
Let me just mention that while we were waiting on our food, I reviewed the book I’m reading for Kent. Talked about how food companies manipulate us to order amounts and quality of food that are not good for us. And then we debated over if the strategy was manipulation or brilliant business tactics.
Did I forget that I had ordered something ridiculous? I do not know why I wasn’t feeling like a hypocrite at that point.
And then this came:
And I don’t know if I am more proud or frustrated with my reaction.
I was disgusted. Before I’d even taken a bite. What the hell was I thinking? I didn’t want this. I don’t even know how many slices of French toast were covered in what tasted like creme from the middle of a doughnut, topped with chocolate, nuts and whipped cream.
How in the hell did I think that this was going to be my lunch?
I ate some of it. I tried to sneak as many bites of Nate’s BLT and Kent’s Hoppin’ Juan as I could.
A bite of the French toast was fantastic. Heaven on a fork, as Kent said. But 2 bites? No thank you. This is supposed to be a meal? What is wrong with me?
I don’t think I’ll ever want sugar again.
And, for the record? I was eating with 2 men who love to eat. I’ve seen them put away drinks, appetizers, entrees, and dessert. We shared one drink between the three of us. No appetizers or dessert. And, after I was done and the bottom-less pit men picked at it, almost half of my entree was still sitting there.
It was even too much for the foodie men in my life.
What the hell was I thinking?
Wow! My initial reaction was “damn, that looks good!” But the longer I looked, even my sweet tooth started to ache.
Isn’t it funny how our old habits temporarily resurface in certain situations? I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much… it takes time (and practice) for our good habits to overcome the bad ones we’ve lived with for so long. Maybe this was a good thing – now you’ll have a mental image to come back to as a reminder. :)
I can’t believe that dish is on the breakfast menu! It contrives to look appetizing, but really, it’s revolting… Even during my binge-phase I think I would have had trouble with that one! They should make it much, much smaller and call it dessert!
Krissie,
Maybe that is just what you needed to kick your sugar cravings!?
Love ya.
Shirley
My first reaction was that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself because it you don’t allow some fun in your diet, you wind up hating everything and blowing it spectacularly. However, I don’t think I could take more than a bite or two of that behemoth either, That really is a LOT of sugar going on there! Kudos to you for not trying to eat the whole thing to make a point:)
OMG that looks disgusting! And I love sugary things too. I can’t even fathom putting that in my mouth. It ALMOST makes me want to not have anything sugary for a very long time.
It’s funny, Krissie, after about 4 or 5 weeks of NOT eating sugar, this stuff grosses me out, too. It’s actually a good feeling sometimes! Because I realize how awful eating something like that would make me feel.
On a related note: I LOVE LOVE LOVE Lynn’s! Chris and I make a point of going there anytime we go to Louisville, so we usually get there once a year or so, but we’ve still not made it for brunch. Dinner is divine though. And I love the quirky atmosphere!
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