open up your folding chair next to me

When I was in college, my friends and I passed around the Conceited Award. It was just figurative, though. It would have been nice to have an actual trophy, but we didn’t. Any time any of us said something that could be seen as bragging, we announced “Conceited Award!” and teased mercilessly.

Those were the days.

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Today, my friends, I give myself the Conceited Award. And I’m okay with that.

I was walking down the hall in the hospital (to get my second cup of ice for the day) when I caught my reflection in the gift shop window. And I realized I looked cute. Not just “I threw things together and don’t look half bad” cute but “I just got made over by Stacy and Clinton!” cute.

So cute that I backtracked back to my office, got my phone, and headed to the one restroom with a full-length mirror.

Because I had to record my cuteness.

IMG_1330My acceptance speech for the Conceited Award would go something like this:

I would like to thank Lerner for making this adorable sweater and these even cuter flowers to pin on it. Although I will never call you New York & Co, I will still love you and buy many, many things from your store. I would like to thank DSW for sending me both a reward certificate and a $10 coupon (and letting me use both of them at once) so I could afford these killer shoes. I am eternally grateful for my hair straightener that came from some kiosk in some mall in Atlanta. The best expensive impulse buy ever.

I would also like to thank lentils, apples, the Lose It! app on my iPhone, and Jillian Michaels. Without any of you, I might not have fit into this adorable get-up.

Thank you and goodnight!