I went to the doctor today. For my yearly. With a question. That I didn’t want to ask.
I don’t know that I’ve ever felt that important with someone who didn’t love me. The doctor (and her doctor-in-training) asked me a million questions. About family medical history, about my relationship with my husband, about my relationship with God, about my outlook on having children, about my concerns about my health, and about my weight.
She was very excited about my progress. The last time I’d seen her, I was at my highest weight. And today I was 2 pounds down from last week’s weigh-in, so she was seeing an even 20 pound loss since my last visit in November. I told her how I’d lost that weight from February to May and how I’ve stalled since the beginning of May. I’d maintained for a few weeks, gotten frustrated, and gone half-assed. And that I’ve continued to maintain with my partially-committed behavior.
She asked me if I’d ever considered medication to help me lose weight.
The truth is that I had. And I set her up for asking me without my having to actually bring up the medication issue myself.
I’ve thought about it a lot for the past week or so. I’ve seen a friend have success. I’d spent most of the morning doing internet research. I knew what I wanted. I had a good idea of what would work for me because of my reaction to a heavy-duty decongestant. But I was nervous to bring it up to her.
Why? Is it cheating? What am I afraid of?
I mean, I’m out here blogging. About almost everything. And this is something I can’t imagine not telling you. But am I afraid of your reaction or of what I would think of myself?
I’ve got to worry about me. I don’t think anything negative about anyone who has used medication as a tool within a healthy lifestyle. Or anyone who colors their hair, wears Spanx, or gets a fake tan to help her meet her goals and feel better. I just have to take my non-judgmental feelings and apply them to myself.
But we also discussed diet and exercise. I think I said, “Yep, I do that” about a million times. We talked about eating cleaner, exercising to the point of really sweating, planning meals and exercise. She asked me if I felt validated because I already know what to do. Of course I know what to do! But there’s nothing wrong with getting help. I know that I will have to do all the work myself. I’ve just got the Cliff’s Notes in my back pocket.
And I’m safe around rusty nails ’cause she snuck in a tetanus shot.
Oh me…I just was typing an entire big post and my internet faded into oblivion and the whole thing was lost. Let me summarize:
1. I once took a box of pills from wal-mart without consulting even so much as a magic 8 ball so I’m not here to pass any judgment myself
2. (An aside: the pills made my eyes feel metallic and my mouth taste like pennies)
3. Have you considered acupuncture? It helps your body do what it’s made to do already but may be out of practice doing. From experience: I lost weight more steadily once I started receiving treatments (*with exercise and attentive eating*) and have heard patients in the clinic (who are mostly coming in for pain) mention the same thing. I don’t know if there are even any practicioners around you, but if you wanted to look into it, it can be supergood for you on so many levels. Also most L.Ac.s know about food and can give you suggestions and support in regard to food. Aaaaa! There is so much I could tell you if only I were licensed already!
4. I think you’re really brave to write about stuff like this and also to leave the comments on. Please email me if you have any questions about anything I’ve said…I’m working fast here because the internet’s getting ready to poop out again. Best of luck, whatever you choose!
I think you’re very brave to talk openly about this. I’m torn – I thought if I just started exercising, I would start losing weight. Now that I’m exercising, I’m in major pain and I think if I was able to shed some extra weight, then it would be easier for me to exercise. Part of me is really concerned about long term side effects of taking pills, but I feel this way about any pill I take. I’m curious, what pills are you looking at? What sites are you using for research?
I think if we’re truly honest with ourselves, there’s not a single overweight woman out there who hasn’t at least considered weight-loss medication. You’re right: People use pills for just about everything – regulating blood pressure, lowering cholesterol, minimizing bone loss, etc. These pills are meant to help you get healthy when you can’t do it on your own. No one thinks less of people who take cholesterol medication, so why should it be that way with medication that aids weight loss?
I think it’s because people have this idea that everyone who is overweight is so because of their own doing. Like if they would only eat better and exercise more the weight would fly off them. It’s not always so easy.
While I haven’t used weight-loss medication myself, I certainly wouldn’t think less of someone who did, as long as they used the pills in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle.
Best of luck whatever you choose – and like the others have said, thanks for being brave enough to post this!