What I Learned from #BlogHer09

Installment #3

My Attitude about Food

Ah, food. Isn’t that one of the best parts of vacation?

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a Weight Watchers meeting. We were talking about vacations. About how hard it can be to get your groove back after vacation. About how important it is to stay aware of food intake and stick with routine as much as possible while on vacation.

I really didn’t know what to expect from BlogHer, foodwise. I haven’t traveled at all since I’ve been on. I didn’t know how to keep myself under control. I knew I’d have so many options – many of which wouldn’t be ideal. I racked my brain and didn’t know how I’d prepare myself.

And then, when FB and I were out for our first Chicago dinner, it hit me. Make a decent choice and eat half of it. And that’s what I did for 90% of the trip.

This is the inspiration meal. Some sort of pizza pocket kinda thing with all kinds of veggies and cheese. I ate half of it and I was satisfied. And for the next several days, I ate half. And I was satisfied.

I did make a few variations.

This was the meal from Ragu on Friday. I ate all of the salad. I ate a bite of the chicken and decided I didn’t like it. I wasn’t a fan of the breadstick either. So I ate the whole cannoli. And I think it was okay. I mean, how often do I indulge? (Ignore my drink from the previous night, please.) And it was SO GOOD. I wasn’t wasting calories on a medicore dessert. Yumm. Lunch = a salad with tomatoes and mozzarella and a cannoli. I think that’s okay.

And then there was the last supper…

Black bean cakes with an awesome red pepper sauce. Slaw. Mac and cheese. Roasted corn. Yeah. I had 1 1/2 of the black bean cakes, all of the corn, and most of the mac and cheese. And about half of a piece of pie. And I paid for it later. Digestive system? Yeah, not my friend.

I didn’t always make the best choices. I did have several bags of Cheez-Its. But I kept pretty fast to my half rule: half of an omelette, half of a sandwich, half of a piece of banana nut bread, half of a turkey burger, half, half. (To see Chicago eats, click here here here and here.) And I’ve done a pretty good job of that since I got home too.

Moderation. I never felt deprived. I never felt angry that I was choosing not to have more. I ate out. I ate at parties. I had a drink. And I was happy. And satisfied.

It would have been nice to have had a scale though. You know, just for a gauge.

But that might have been a little obsessive, eh?

What I learned from #BlogHer09
Installment 2: My Weight-Loss Journey

So when I decided to go to BlogHer back in February, I set a goal. A lofty goal. The conference was less than a week after
our sixth wedding anniversary. And I wanted to go to Chicago with the same weight as my wedding day. I really wanted to see a nice, round 200 staring back at me when I left for Chicago. I knew it was a serious goal. That would be a 37 pound loss in 6 months. Possible, yes. Realistic? I didn’t know.

There were weeks that I kicked ass. There were weeks where I struggled. Many weeks where I hit a huge plateau on the scale and in lack of effort. But in all those weeks, I only gained once. And 0.8 is a gain I will accept and embrace.

I stepped on the scale the morning I left to see 206 staring back at me. I was ecstatic. It wasn’t 200, but it was so far away from 237. It really helped keep me focused.

I had a couple of moments that knocked the wind out of me.

At one point, in the car, I realized that I have become someone who just crosses my legs. I just do it. Without thinking. Without having to use my hands to assist. I just do. And I used to be unable to cross my legs at all.

We were walking somewhere…probably to shop…and I caught my shadow. I’ve always enjoyed my shadow. It’s just a longer, leaner version of me. But in Chicago, I noticed the shape of my shadow. Or should I say that my shadow had a shape. A waist. I knew it was distorted, but I’m so used to seeing shapeless blob that any deviation caught my attention.

But there was one moment above the others that took my breath. We were sitting and chatting with another blogger (whose name I won’t mention). She was friendly and cute and shapely. While chatting, she casually mentioned her weight. Her weight that is the same as mine. (See, I didn’t want to out her weight! We’re sensitive about that!) I don’t know where the conversation went for a while because I was not listening. I was busy trying to figure out how someone about my height who weighs the same as me doesn’t look fat. My initial reaction was anger. How dare she rock out her weight and I still look like this.

And then it hit me.

Maybe I don’t look fat either.

And then I really got quiet. Took it all in. Thought about maybe trying to start feeling not that fat.

And that feeling helped keep me focused.

And the icing on the cake? I lost. In Chicago. At BlogHer. I lost 8/10s of a pound. And I’ll take it.

(and I did not buy the jeans. FB talked me out of them. They weren’t fabulous.)

Remember last February when I did the series on what I learned from being unemployed? Well, here we go again.

What I Learned from #BlogHer09

Installment #1:

Why I Blog

I’ve read a lot about BlogHer. I had found some of the conference really…extreme. Over the top. High schoolish. But, really, isn’t life like that? There are always people who are cliquey. There are always people with a sense of entitlement, or no verbal filter, or full of complaints. Wherever we work. In our families. In the blogsphere in general.

And, just like so many things in life, you get what you look for. You focus on what you choose to focus on. And those choices determine what you take away from any situation. What did I want to get from BlogHer? I wanted to spend time with 2 of my absolute favorite girls on the planet. I wanted to meet a few people, I was interested in some of the panels. And I wanted to learn about the process of blogging. And I wanted to learn more about me as a blogger.

The first panel we went to was fantastic. The three of us also had a great conversation about why and how we blog. And this is what I took away. About me.

• I blog for a sense of community. I don’t have many people in my “real” life that have struggles similar to mine. Through you guys, I have found a group of friends who get me. Who celebrate with me. Who call me out when I’m being stupid. Who encourage when that’s what I need. You GET me. And I try to provide the same back to you.
• I blog to force myself to process the ugly parts of me. I could have just sat back and lived in oblivious fatness. I could have not dealt with my baby issues. I could be in denial of how I used to eat, how I have a tendency to be lazy, how stubborn I can be. When my grandfather died, I put it all out there for you. Some days, it has been really hard for me to show you what I think I need to show you. But it is important with me to be honest with you, and that forces me to be honest with myself. And then I get to figure out what to do with it.
• I blog for accountability. Sometimes it is really hard for me to stay motivated, but it is easier when I think about not wanting to let you all down. I know from the times I’ve spun my wheels that you come back and you support me especially when I’m struggling. But I want to be able to tell you how I made good choices, how I pushed myself, how I pictured each of you cheering me on while I finished the last few minutes on the elliptical machine or when I pushed away dessert. I know you are right there with me, and I don’t want to let you down.
• I blog to bring balance. There have been times that I have felt hopeless, helpless, really really stuck. But I don’t want to present a negative picture as a whole. Looking for the positives to share with you has also forced me to bring them to my own awareness. I had a really bad day last week, but I allowed a hair wash to turn my day around because it was what I wanted you to see that day. And I wanted what I showed to be honest and genuine.

I keep going back to the notes I took while Kelly spoke during one of the panels (and this is her post about the panel). Paraphrased, of course, she said things like these:

• I write for me. You are the icing on the cake. But I write because I have to.
• I write because I love me. Because I’m proud of me. Because I believe in me.
• Blogging is like holding up a mirror and owning what is there.
• Blogging keeps me focused on me – I must process, I must deal, I must grow.

I agree with her completely. I blog for me. It’s the therapist in me. And the fact that you visit me every day? Still amazes me.

So, why do you blog?

We made it back from BlogHer yesterday. I’m still a little sleep deprived. I have so much to say about the trip, but today I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Fat Bridesmaid and I waiting patiently for Lorrie‘s plane to land and for her to get to the hotel already!

Us in the elevator. A bizarre gang sign + Floyd dance + kung fu move. Let the party begin.

Waiting for Lorrie at the JavaBar in the hotel.

In the elevator again? Oh yeah.

Look who we saw! Hi Ree!

Shopping? Yes please!

Another day, another elevator.

We go to Chicago and have soul food. I will always eat at Wishbone any time I go to Chicago now.

the view from our hotel room on the last night. sad face!

the view from Sunday morning Starbucks breakfast

all of our sad bags ready to go home.

and I knew we were headed out when we got back on the toll road.

I’ll be talking about my reactions to BlogHer over the next few days. I’m just still processing. And napping.

@krissieb: Sitting in a hotel room in Chicago. Harrassing @fatbridesmaid. Being amazed at the lightening speed of @tokenfatgirl’s shower. Looking at our mess of swag and shopping bags and a hotel room in general disarray.

You can tell by my sentence fragments that I’ve spent way too much time on Twitter.

BlogHer has been a blast. I have listened, shared, and met wonderful people. But I am ready to get home, to digest, to dive into the blogs of my new friends.

For the next hour or so, I will continue the slumber party life I’ve led for the past few days. And then I’ll be chauffered back to the Bluegrass by my favorite Ohioian. (is that a word? That’s what she said! Oh wait, that doesn’t work, does it?)

Tomorrow will be back to my real life. Work. Exerxice. Calorie counting. Moments with Nathan. Normal blogging. And i’m curious to watch how my experiences this weekend might impact all of that.

But first I need to find some coffee.

So Fat Bridesmaid and I are at BlogHer! Lorrie will fly in later tonight. It’s gonna be a blast.

At the last minute I decided not to bring the computer, so my blogging will be very limited until I get home on Sunday. I’m still a novice typist on this iPhone.

We will be doing lots of tweeting, so check twitter for updates! (@krissieb for me and the roomies are @fatbridesmaid and @tokenfatgirl)

Yay Chicago!

I am so looking forward to tomorrow! Fat Bridesmaid is driving down after work for dinner, drinks, and a sleepover. And then we head to BlogHer in Chicago on Thursday. We’ll meet up with our roommate Lorrie and have a great weekend!

The last few days have really been off-target for me. And I’ve been surprised at how well I have managed. We had our anniversary dinner. I had a 3+ hour dinner out with co-workers. My workout schedule has been all out of whack, which has meant minimal exercise since Saturday. But I have made the best food choices possible and stayed between 1300-1400 net calories. Knowing that I’ve managed to stay on track with the events of the past few days gives me a lot of encouragement and I feel powerful to stay focused and still have a great time while in Chicago.

I’ve spent today getting ready to go. Filling prescriptions, getting hair supplies, hemming pants, etc. All I need to do is clean the spare shower, pack and paint my toenails.

I haven’t been to Chicago in years. I’m assuming some of you know the city. Any restaurants that can’t be missed?

Yeah. So I had a lot of plans for tonight. Hemming clothes. Running. Cleaning the kitchen.

I had a work-sponsored dinner at 6:00. No one showed until 6:30. I didn’t leave the restaurant until way after 9. So none of my plans happened.

But I got one of the best compliments I’ve ever heard.

We were talking about tattoos. My beautiful friend said that if she had “girls” like mine, they would be covered in tattoos. And how she’d borrow my eyes if she could.

And she said, “You know, it’s a good thing I don’t have eyes and girls like Krissie’s. I’d be a hooker. He only gives those to girls like Krissie…you know, the girls He can trust.”

For some reason, that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

And, for the record, if I ever got brave enough to get a tattoo, it would some form of this.

But I’m a big chicken.

And I have beautiful eyes.

It seems impossible that we have been married 6 years.

Last night, for our anniversary dinner.

Anniversary #5. On the yard of our favorite bed and breakfast.

Around anniversary #2 at Shakertown

Anniversary #1, back at the bed and breakfast.

the best day ever

and we had to have an arm’s length shot, even then

and my favorite picture of the day came from one of the disposable black and white cameras we gave a few people to document the day

and, because it is adorable, this picture is from June of 1999. We’d been dating a few months. This is 10 years ago!

(Look, Nathan! It’s the Skeleton Ballerina shirt!)

“I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

And I know

that I am

the luckiest.”

~Ben Folds

So Amy’s Workout Wednesday Challenge was to run. Whatever type of running you could do for 20 minutes. I decided to dust off the C25K app on my iPhone and try again. I really want to be a runner, but the last time I tried, I did week 1 for 3 weeks and just couldn’t move on because of issues with my left foot. Today was perfect! Nice and cool. Sunny enough. And no foot problems!

I knew I wouldn’t be able to take pictures while running because the C25K app will stop if you open the camera. So I decided that instead of turning around when I was halfway done, I would complete the 30 minutes in one direction. I would walk back from where the walk/run intervals ended and take pictures while walking home. It was a nice distraction during the runs to look for things to take pictures of!

Here is the playlist I ran with today. It is the driving soundtrack I made when Nathan, Fat Bridesmaid and I traveled to Lorrie’s wedding. Perfect for running. (One of these songs is where the title of my blog comes from! Anyone know?)

So my way back…

I don’t like this bridge. It feels like a troll should live under it. Even though I was done running, I ran under it on my way home. I know, I’m silly. I also came upon several flocks of birds just chilling out. I didn’t let my fear of them bother me. And I saw a groundhog!

I passed an Elementary school…

and you can’t really see, but there’s a community pool over there.

and these beautiful blue wildflowers were everywhere!

My favorite thing about these paths is that they feel so secluded, but they are right by a neighborhood. Sometimes there are trees between the path and the street, but it’s always right there. I always feel safe.

I could look at fields like this all day. This is at the end of the path and at the dead-end of the street.

pretty thistles. I found these in a lot that doesn’t have a house on it yet.

After the path, I travel through a neighborhood to get back to mine.

And there’s my house! I figured Nathan must have beat me back – he went on a run too – because our bedroom window was open. It is that nice today.

And then some ladies stopped me to ask where some street was. They were looking for a yard sale. I wanted to tell them that everything good is gone way before noon, but I didn’t. I didn’t know where the street was either.

And I’m back home!

So the run wasn’t that bad. Usually, I’d be totally wiped and practically crawling to my front door. But today I ran AND then walked home from where I finished. I feel like Shred is more difficult. So maybe I’m ready to start running again. I had a plan to wait until I hit 200, but I’m only 7 pounds away. When I get home from Chicago, I’ll get started again.

Thanks SO MUCH Amy for issuing this challenge! I don’t know how long it would have taken me to get the gumption to do this on my own!