I was reading one of my favorite blogs today and came across something that made me sad.

She was talking about all the prayer requests she gets from women who are waiting on a baby or waiting on a husband.

Waiting.

It’s hard for me to think of a time when I wasn’t waiting for something. Waiting for my 16th birthday so I could drive. Waiting to start college. Waiting to be engaged, to be married. To get a better job. To buy a house. To sell a house. To buy another house.  To make more money. To be not so fat. And, from the time I was married until a few months ago, I was waiting on a baby.

I wasn’t ever satisfied, not comfortable with that day. I was too busy looking forward to what I thought I wanted, something I thought would make me complete.

Today? I don’t think I’m waiting on anything.

It’s amazing the kind of contentment that comes along with that.

I’m sure it has something to do with what I’m accomplishing with my health and the satisfaction that’s coming along with that. But I don’t have everything I think I want. I’d love to live in Asheville. I’d love to have a baby. I’d love to be able to survive on a part-time salary.

But I’m not waiting on any of those things. I’m living my life. And if I never have any of those things, I won’t be any less me. My life will still happen. And I will still be as happy as I let myself be.

And, really, does my life look that much different than it did this time last year? 5 years ago? Not really.

I’m cooking different foods, but I’m still cooking. My music tastes have changed some, but I’m still obsessed with music. My clothes come from Gap and Lerner instead of Lane Bryant and the largest sizes in Old Navy, but my style is pretty much the same. I am still insanely in love with my husband. I love the same cozy and holey black pajama pants from Gap. I try every day to be a better person than I was the day before. I’m still going to work. I’m still driving a sensible car.

At my core, I am still me. I always have been, I always will be.

No matter how much less of me there is, I am still me.

So what did I think I was waiting for? What did I miss out on because I was waiting for the next good thing to happen instead of seeing the good things that were right in front of my face?

I’m not waiting anymore. I’m just being.

And I love it.

So…what are you waiting for?