Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Alright, let me make sure you know what you’re looking at. This is my food log weekly graph. The goal line is 1200 calories. Green means good. Red show how far over goal I went. (And the “over weekly budget” number is before today is factored in.)

The good? I counted every bite. Every single bite. I didn’t leave out what embarrassed me.

The bad? Dude, just look at it.

The ugly? Will be determined when I hop on the scale in the morning.

The why? Easy. I didn’t plan. I ate what I pulled out of the freezer or what sounded good at the time. And since I didn’t follow my eating plan, I really didn’t follow my running plan either.

Blah, blah, blah.

The moral of the story? Plan, Krissie. When I plan, I succeed.

What I’m doing about it? The plan is made. The grocery list is made. I will shop on my way home from work tomorrow.

Cook. Pack lunches. Run. Repeat.

Amen.

What are the keys to your success? Do you get easily distracted just like me? How hard is it for you to just get back on?

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And I’m looking for recipes for next week! What’s your favorite go-to recipe? I want to make it!

I’m cross-posting this on my food log blog as well.

(I just LOVE “food log blog” and “run log blog” because they remind me of Bob Loblaw!)

Focus, Krissie. Focus.

So I am a planner. I plan my menus every week, and I try to have a theme. We had a “Martha Stewart FOOD” week, and a “Throwback Week” and a “Cooking Light Week.” This coming week will come from a magazine I bought at Fresh Market.

And I’m asking you for help for the week after (the week I will plan next weekend). I want to have a “Readers Suggest” week.

So what should I cook?

I’m interested in what some of your favorite recipes are. I’m looking for recipes you have already tried – that you know are tasty. I’d prefer they be healthy (of course), but I’ll do my best to make a healthier version of any favorites. I also prefer recipes that don’t require a lot of hands-on time. I’m fine with baking time or cooking time, but prefer not more than 30 minutes of hands-on time. Nutritional info isn’t necessary because I always figure it out myself. I don’t always follow recipes closely, so I figure it out based on the ingredients I actually use. (And if you’re sending me a recipe based on a recipe from somewhere else, let me know so I can give credit there.)

And my promise if I choose your recipe? I’ll shoot you a link (if you have one) and I’ll show step-by-step process photos on the food log blog.

Shoot me what you would like to see as a comment here or on the food log blog or in an email. I’ll make a few next week and I’ll keep the others bookmarked in case of another readers suggests week!

I can’t wait to hear your favorites!

Yeah. So I’ve not been honest with myself the last few days. How?

I haven’t been feeling great. Tummy hasn’t been happy. I assumed that my eating was not on plan because I wasn’t feeling well. In reality? It was probably more the other way around – my tummy wasn’t happy because of what I was eating. All the sugar. Pizza for lunch yesterday. Nothing that resembled a veggie. Nothing like I had been eating for a while. No wonder my digestive system has been rebelling. It doesn’t like me! And I’m not being very nice. I’m glad I realized this before I went for more than 2 days of “off” eating.

I was feeling munchy today. I went into the gift shop and bought 3 mini Reese cups. Why? They were just little chocolates. If they’re just little and I don’t take a picture of them, they wouldn’t count. I liked this logic so much that I went and bought 3 more. I might as well have eaten 2 full-sized Reese cups. I’d never do that! But, in my mind, it all made some warped sense at the time.

I was really wanting to eat when I got home. Nathan gets out the chips and guacamole. It was gonna take 15 minutes for the pasta to cook for dinner. I convinced myself that I couldn’t wait that long. So I ate chips. My justification? I was just eating chips, not the guacamole. (And then I had a handful of granola. And several bites of leftover pasta. And extra cheese. No real justification for that.) But really? Two lies in one! I was completely able to wait AND the reason I didn’t eat the guacamole was a little brown for my liking.

Once I take a step back, it’s shocking how quickly I can mislead myself – how easily I can fall right back into old patterns. I’ve been reminded how important my plans and routines are.

And I’m stopping the lies right here. I ate 1/2 of my dinner because I was full. And as soon as dinner settles, I’m off for a run. Then I’ll plan out tomorrow’s eating so I’ll know.

So when did you lie to yourself today? What did you justify? Does your perspective change when you back away and really think about it?

No posts on the other blogs. I’m calling in sick. It’s been a yucky tummy day.

But I discovered today that it’s time for me to move on.

I need a new ring. Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

I started with these beauties that are now tucked away in a pretty little bag, waiting to be resized.

Then I moved on to Nathan’s engagement ring. Yes, it’s elvish. And smaller than my wedding rings.

Today I noticed that it is officially too big (as I fished it out of my office trash can). I’m wearing it on my middle finger now. So I’m shopping for a new temporary wedding ring.

I have several options. I’m sharing with you.

The first is the one I want but I feel bad for wanting. Because, as you know, I am a brand whore. But isn’t she beautiful?

Oh, my friends, there’s more.

My love for etsy is almost as strong as my love for Tiffany.

This one is completely different. Earthy. Engraved on the inside. It would house the title of this post which is a line from a Peter Gabriel song we love.

And then there’s the incredibly simple. Classic, comfortable, titanium.

But wait! Next there’s the variation on a prior theme. This is in Hebrew. “I am my beloved’s and he is mine.”

I also think these coin rings are beautiful. But I haven’t found any that are either for our home state or from the year we were married. I think that would be cool. And I’m sure the artist could make one of my two desires happen if I decided to go with this one.

this little pretty just calls out to me.

And then there’s the part of me that would love to carry our actual wedding date on the band. This one looks so…homemade. I love it.

So all this shopping later and I’m no closer to picking out my present. Maybe I’ll just let Nathan decide. I’m sure he’d be open to your suggestions. And he reads the comments.

6.5, baby. Just so you know.

(Nathan is singing “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” I won’t tell you why. I’ll leave just this up to embarrass him. Blog abuse! Blog abuse!)

It’s been an off day. Work has been really hard for two days. I’m frustrated that February isn’t shaping up the way I wanted it to. Nate’s dad was here for the evening and my schedule was off. Didn’t make time for the scheduled run. But it’s okay. Life happens.

I want to show you something.

But first, my favorite moment of the past weekend. FatBridesmaid came to visit. I was trying on clothes in a vintage shop and I didn’t want to try things on because I didn’t think they would fit.

Me: I have some body awareness issues.

FB: I know. I read your blog.

I love her. And that she knows me.

But that’s made me think. I do have issues. I haven’t caught up with myself. So last night, when I was changing into my workout gear, I made myself really look in the full-length mirror. And I tried to admit to what I see. I am starting to have a waist. My hips are smaller. I may think my proportions are distorted, but my body is still changing. Sometimes I may not feel different, but I am.

And this is me. Today. In the horrible lighting of the hospital bathroom. This is me. I look not as fat. Maybe even not fat. And I’m still getting used to that.

But you already knew that. You read my blog.

Hello.

I’m tired. Work was exhausting. So was my workout.

I need a shower.

And the weather? Really? Two days ago, we spent a day outside without coats. And today it’s snowing. Seriously?

Yup.

So here’s a picture I took on Saturday that I like. And that’s it for today.

On my run tonight, I was listening to This American Life (this episode to be exact), and the opening piece talked about a piece from C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters. About how Satan is more likely to get us to follow his desires not by reasoning us into going his way but instead by removing the desire to reason, by just planting the idea and getting us to act on it before we take the time to think about it.

It made me really think about my relationship with food. I’ve identified my tendency to be “munchy.” You know, when I eat not because I’m hungry, but because I just want it. Often, after or even during my eating, I don’t know why I’m eating. Half the time, I didn’t really want what I’m eating. Sometimes I don’t even like it. When there is a trigger to eat, my automatic response for years was to eat without thinking. To not give myself time to reason, but to just give in and eat.

But now, this blog gives me a purpose to stop and to reason. I’ve realized that’s another reason why I have kept blogging. I try really hard to be authentic. I don’t ever want to do anything I wouldn’t tell you about. (I don’t tell you everything because, honestly, I’m not that interesting.) But knowing that I’m going to share the pertinent food/health related parts of my life keeps me plugged in. Keeps me aware, keeps me thinking, keeps me reasoning and having an inner discussion about my food choices. I’m always looking for things to blog about. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Knowing that I have your interest and your support makes me try to keep the bad and the ugly to a minimum. But they are still there.

That awareness of knowing that I’m going to share my food choices has been a huge part of my success. When I can’t control myself around caramel corn, I don’t shove it under the rug and pretend like it never happened. I think about it at the time, I analyze my behavior through the day, and I come home and tell y’all about it. I try to reason through my hard food days. I share my awesome recipe finds.  And that’s just in the last month! The self-awareness that comes from writing this blog gives me a reason to examine my choices and helps keep me focused.

So thank you. Thank you for stopping by. For caring about me and my blog. Your coming here gives me someone to be honest to.

So, why do you blog? Do I know you? Do you have a blog I don’t know about? Leave me a note and I’ll check you out! I’d love to meet some more of you!

(And if you don’t blog, maybe you should!)

Such a great day with Fat Bridesmaid! Nice January day spent at Shakertown. Pictures are better than words today.

(we started with a little bit of thrift store shopping…)

And be on the lookout for more fun tomorrow!

I did not do well today.

My boss’s boss’s boss brought caramel popcorn. From Chicago. And it’s awesome.

I made the mistake of thinking that I could have a handful.

I ended up having 3. Or 4. I’m not really sure.

All I know is that it ruined my mood and what I had planned on being my rest day.

But, as Jillian says, when you get a flat tire, you don’t bust the other three. You fix the flat. And you move on.

So I burned every one of those stinking calories. Every one.

And now I’m exhausted.

I’m off to bed so I can be rested for our weekend visitor!

I love shopping. Most of the time.

But today? I hate shopping.

All I want is a pair of jeans. I’ve watched What Not to Wear enough to know that a tailor will be my best friend. I get that. I’m short. I’ll need a tailor. I’ve gotten jeans hemmed before.

But it would be nice to wear a pair of jeans off the rack. Today I wanted immediate gratification. I wanted that bag in my hands that held the perfect jeans.

I tried on over 20 pairs of jeans in 3 stores and came home emptyhanded.

Really?

I know jeans are unpredictable, and I’m not sure what size I am anyway. So I grabbed 2 different sizes of each. The 12 and the 14. I was prepared to go to the 16 if necessary. But I still found nothing.

The most frustrating was in Old Navy. I’d tried on a ton of jeans already. Then I put on a pair of 12 regular. They fit, but are pretty snug and a tad long. The other size of the same pants? 14 short. I do a little dance and wiggle myself into them. What? They won’t even come close to buttoning. Seriously? Short? yes. 14? No way.

And then on to Gap. My heart flutters at the thought of Gap jeans. I’m not excited to pay that much money for jeans I’m hoping to shrink out of, but I really wanted jeans. So into the dressing room I go. First pair? Awesome. They are a 12 and they fit perfectly in the waist, but are a foot too long. Some specialty line. $80. They don’t come in different lengths. I’m not paying a tailor for what is already an expensive pair of jeans. Bummer.

Gap #2. Curvy. 12 short. Nice. Will fit in about 5 pounds. But I want jeans that fit today. Do they have a 14 short? Do they even have a 14? Nope. It is at this point that the saleslady tries to convince me that the style of the first jean is meant to be rolled up. I’m sorry, I say, I like to look more polished. And she looks insulted. And then I have to track her back down to ask my original question if they have any in the back. No such luck.

But I’m learning what I need. I’m still really fluffy in the middle. I need a higher rise without much narrowing at the knee and slight flair. No crazy fading or distressed stripes. Just a nice, friendly jean.

And a 14 short would be nice.

It looks like I’m hanging out in my dresses for a little while longer. I guess I’m okay with that.

I’m also okay with this! Check me out!