Ladies and gentlemen.

I ran 10 miles today.

Anything else I may want to say is lost in either the pride or the exhaustion that I feel. Just pick an emotion to blame for my laziness. Either will work.

I do have some pictures for my Lent picture commitment. They may not be good pictures, but the stories behind them are. So just be patient.

Friday:

It’s a horrible picture, and I had to really play with the color to be able to see the display, but do you see this? I’m out of the 180s! I know it’s barely, but I’ll take it. And I’ll celebrate just the same.

Saturday:

We go to church on Saturday nights. I love it. Not only do I focus better, but we get to sleep in both weekend days! I love our church. Last night, Jon read my favorite book: The Giving Tree.

Sunday:

Nathan and I often run at the same time but not together. He has a route in mind, but I just run around wherever I want to go. I get really excited when I see him out on our runs. Between my running while taking the picture and him running while being photographed, he looks kinda like Bigfoot. And that makes this picture even sweeter, if you ask me.

I’ll be back to regurarly scheduled blogging soon enough. Know that we’re still rocking our Lent promises!

Hope you had a good weekend!

Today is my blog birthday. 3 years. Three. I’ve been here, almost daily. Keeping record. Sharing random stories. Being me.

So what did I have to say on that day?

I wanted to be an after. I was tired of looking and feeling like a “before” picture. I wanted to be an after.

My plan? 3 easy steps. I sat out to change my life by being a runner, being a responsible and respectful eater, and being honest about my behavior choices.

And, finally, I’ve gotten that through my head. That’s what I’m doing. And that’s what’s working.

I know I’m not an “after” yet, but I’m definitely a “during.”

I finally got it.

And what I’m doing is exactly what I set out do to the day I sat down, opened blogspot, and started to write.

Happy birthday, Questions for Dessert. You have been a great friend for these 3 years. You have challenged me, forced me to acknowledge the ugly, and given me a place to share my successes and joy. You are one of the things in my life I’m most proud of. Not because of the number of hits I have a day or the number of comments I get. But because of who I’ve become by creating you. Happy birthday to you.

…and many more!

I’m sorry if yesterday’s post came across as whiny.

Lent is teaching me things. Things about satisfaction and entitlement and gratitude.

But I’m still learning. So you’re gonna have to wait until I get more figured out.

I do know that I am very loved. By my family, my husband, my savior.

And by my mom.

In the fall, my mom and I were in a fabric store. She had just learned she was going to be a grandmother. I was having some difficulty accepting that I was not the one providing that grandchild for her. I walked by some fabric, petted it, and said, “This would make a beautiful baby blanket.”

And at Christmas, I opened a blanket. With the fabric I loved. And it was for me.

I’m covering up with it now.

I am loved. And I’m warm too.

Oh, friends. Today has really challenged my Lent resolve. Meat-free? No problem! No unnecessary spending…ugh.

Around lunchtime, I got a tweet telling me that John’s Run/Walk Shop is selling these:

thanks John's Run Walk Shop for the picture!

There are 3 things about these that are particurarly appealing to me:

1) I don’t have gloves. I run with my sleeves over my hands until they get warm.

2) I love getting stuff at runs. So far, I’ve only gotten t-shirts. Gloves are another bonus item! How exciting! And they say “inaugural.” There will only be ONE FIRST!

3) Did I mention that this is a HALF-MARATHON? And that I am RUNNING it? I AM RUNNING A HALF-MARATHON! Surely I deserve a pair of gloves.

I was cracked up that I got suggestions over twitter – ways I could barter and trade someone buying gloves for me and I could buy $10 of groceries for her. But Nathan says there’s no bartering allowed in Lent.

I made a promise – to God, to Nathan, to you. No unnecessary spending. Gloves – even these gloves – are not necessary. So they will not be mine.

We are ending Lent a week early anyway – the day before the half and then we’re going on vacation – so we will not be restricting our money at the Expo before the race. So I just have to hope they still have them then, right?

I’m not gonna lie. I want them. I want them bad. They are ten stinking dollars. I’d drop over half of that on my morning coffee. I’ve dropped that much on lunch when I had sushi and a piece of fruit and a bottle of water for lunch. And never thought anything about it.

And now I’m thinking about it.

I’ve thought about them all day.

And I’m not happy.

But I’m not giving in either.

Amen.

(And, if you’re interested, here are the facebook pages for John’s and the half-marathon. I just think they’re cool. I’m still impressed by social media.)

Moving on…

Today’s Lent picture is one that made me especially happy. When I finished my run, it wasn’t dark! That hasn’t happened in an evening run for a very long time. I’m so glad the days are getting longer. Even though the weather still feels like the middle of winter, the daylight is reassuring.

How are your Lent commitments holding up? Anyone else struggling out there?

Work. Run. Cook. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

That’s what my life has come to.

And I love it!

Today’s picture:

My stirring spoon from tonight’s Hoppin’ John smiles at me! I’m loving this no-meat thing. It’s not felt like I’m deprived at all.

I do feel slightly sleep-deprived, though, and my legs are tired, so I’m going to bed with a good book. At 9:22.

Did I mention that I love my life?

Today’s Lent picture comes from Woodsongs tonight.

I just love our shadows on the seats in front of us. And that my tights look scandalous.

Oh my, lovelies. I have so much to be happy about!

We knew that this weekend would be difficult with our Lent commitments. We’d be staying with our parents. We’d be attending a wedding shower. Our families eat a lot of meat. So here’s how we did.

Spending? We had to get a little creative to maintain this, but we did. Primarily when it came to food. But we figure if it comes from a grocery store and has to be somehow prepared by us, it can be classified as being part of our grocery budget. We’ll get to that.

No meat? Check! It got kinda dicey with the baby shower, but we picked up a container of spicy hummus to put on the table with the rest of the sandwich fixins. And in eastern Kentucky, we knew the hummus would be left for us. Actually, my Grandmother loved it too. I just want to tell you that it is possible to eat well at a baby shower! This is my plate:

Sandwich with hummus and veggies, fruit on the side. I had 2 small cookies, even though I had given myself permission to eat 3. Just 2. And I kept myself busy being a little helper and the cake was gone before I even thought I might want some. Nathan didn’t have any either. It was a good day.

Sunday was a little more challenging. We had breakfast with Nate’s mom (pumpkin pancakes!), but then didn’t have a plan for lunch. So we stopped at a grocery store, bought ready-to-bake (not frozen) cheese pizza and some Terra chips. Meatless dinner? Oh yeah. Without eating out. I’m proud.

And on to the daily pictures…

Friday: I was afraid my sister-in-law’s present wouldn’t come in time, but it was ready for us to pick up as we headed out of town. I am so happy it made it!

Saturday: My mom had buttons for immediate family to wear at the baby shower. This is Nate’s button. I can’t wait to see him with a baby! He’s going to be a great uncle.

Sunday: I had a great run. 7+ miles.50* and almost sunny. Just a great run.

I have several things in mind to write about the next few days, but right now, my bed is calling.

Good night!

Lent update: Purchases? None. Meat? None. Daily picture? Yes, and thank you for asking!

I ran outside tonight! Yay! No more treadmill!

And today’s Lent picture is in honor of that run:

My tennies on my sidewalk with the snow there for everyone to see.

I cannot tell you how long I wanted to be a runner. Years. YEARS. And now I am. I just took off and ran 5 miles tonight. I just did it. That still sounds crazy. 7 months ago I was struggling to run 30 seconds. No joke. And now I’m running for an hour. I’m still just shocked.

I might be hit or miss the next few days. We’ll be out of town with internet here and there. But, never fear! If I get behind, I’ll get caught up.

How is Lent going for you guys?

Headache. Ow. Headache.

I’m opting for the WiiFit tonight. Because my head hurts. And because my schedule offers me the option to cross train tonight. AND it’s supposed to be a “balmy” 35* tomorrow (per local NPR guy), so I’m hoping the sidewalks will be nice for running tomorrow.

Today has been a good day. Even though I had no painkillers but some cash in my purse, I didn’t go buy Aleve at the giftshop at work today. It was buying something that wasn’t at the grocery store or the gas pump. So I stuck it out. And I made awesome Black Bean Cakes for dinner tonight. The recipe will be up soon.

I rocked Lent Day 1.

And today’s picture?

This is my little girl, Scully. Today she climbed Mount Saint Chair. She looks so accomplished.

She’s an awesome little critter. When I saw her, I had to have her. I told Nathan that she was so ugly no one else would ever want her and that we had to take her home. Her history makes me so sad. She had escaped from an animal shelter that was on fire. When they found her, they thought she had just been in some ashes. But they gave her a bath and found that she is just colored that way. She just always looks like she’s got dirty smudges everywhere.

And she’s not the smartest thing either. Sometimes she has trouble jumping. And it’s not a physical problem. She loves to play with ink pens. When she purrs, she coos like a dove. She chases her own tail. She can be a ninja – sometimes I’ll look at my lap and wonder how long she’d been sitting there.

She’s such a good kitty. And she made me happy today.

So what made you happy today?

I guess I should be thankful. I have a gym at our complex. That has 3 (2 working) treadmills. And a few other cardio machines. And a decent selection of weight machines. And that it is part of our condo fees.

But I’m not thankful. I’m tired of snow. I’m tired of icy sidewalks and snow drifts and not being comfortable running outside after dark. I’m ready for spring, dang it! I live in Kentucky! Our average temperature this time of year is 40. 40! Instead we have slushy roads and icy sidewalks.

This doesn’t do good things for my half marathon training. My running hasn’t been exactly on schedule. I tell myself that if I do cardio that burns the same calories and gets my heart rate up as much, I should be okay. And when I run outside? I am. I feel good and strong.

But I didn’t run outside tonight. I ran on the treadmill.

Actually, I busted tail for a little while on the elliptical machine while waiting for a treadmill to open up. Then I ran the balance of my 4.5 miles. And I hated it. I hate the way my legs feel. My thighs get really tight. My hips get jarred. It’s just not a pleasant feeling for me. I’ve also learned that I tend to run in a cycle – I push myself for a few minutes and then I back off a little. It’s so slight that I don’t see it in my overall picture in my pace snapshots, but when I make it really specific, I do. It’s pretty cool that I do it without even thinking. I don’t have the ability to do that on the treadmill. It tells me what to do.

Maybe I just don’t like to be bossed around.

The first time I wanted to quit? .29 miles in. No joke. I wanted to stop, but I didn’t. I finished. I wish I could say I’m proud, but I’m not. I feel like it’s a step I needed to take to get me where I want to be. And there will be days when it rains or it’s really hot and I need to know that I am able to take my run inside.

But when I cross the line at that half marathon? Then I’ll be proud.

My friend Sarah (who also lives in Nashville but isn’t this Sarah) sent me this today. And it tells the story better than I can.

It’s true. I’m a runner. What else can I say?