I’m going to rant. Because I had a reaction. Because I think it is relevant to my blog. Because I count calories. Because I think that counting calories has improved my life. And I come to the defense of tools that I feel are helpful.
Roni retweeted a tweet last night from EatWithoutGuilt that really got me going:
Roni blogged about it herself. I started a comment on her post, but then I realized I have a lot more to say than should be published in someone else’s space. I’ve had several discussions here and there on twitter. I’ve seen so many people say that calorie counting is unhealthy. That it doesn’t work. That there’s something wrong with me if I do. That I’m lying if I say that it works. So here is my response.
The basic question: Can I have a healthy relationship with food if I’m counting calories or measuring food?
Answer: Absolutely. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever have a healthy relationship with food if I’m not making a specific effort to pay attention to my food intake. Not today. Maybe tomorrow, but not today. Today, counting is paramount. Counting calories (both what I ate and the calories I burned exercising) is the way that I lost 63 pounds. And not counting calories is the way I gained 19 pounds back.
I think it is possible to be “healthy” and a “counter.” Let me tell you what healthy means in my little head. I think of healthy behaviors as behaviors that improve my overall quality of life instead of hindering it. Healthy is when I’m becoming stronger instead of weaker. When I’m getting closer to the best of me instead of farther away. When I’m living in a way that is consistant with my values and priorities. I don’t think healthy is something that I will achieve when I’m a certain weight or BMI. I don’t think that I will reach healthy when I can run a mile in under 10 minutes or when I can finish that stupid Bob Harper cardio DVD. Healthy is something I work toward every day. Something I make decisions to improve. And something that I’m sure will contstantly be evolving and changing as I change.
Do I count calories? Yes. Absolutely. Although lately, not as much as I should. (Hello, 19 pound gain.) I think know that counting calories is the key to my weight loss. And I’m fine with that. I understand that it’s not for everybody. I understand that some people can get overwhelmed by counting and tracking. I get it. But I don’t think the fact that I count calories means that I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
I think the decision to count calories, for me, shows that I am on a mission to improve my relationship with food. That I’m putting an effort into becoming healthier. That my unhealthy relationship with food is more apparent when I’m not counting calories.
I think of my calorie counting like a checkbook. Like I’m trying to control my intake of food in the same way that I control where my money goes. I record and keep record of my bank account, right? Don’t most of us check in on our online banking to make sure we’re where we think we are? We budget. We pay what has to be paid. We splurge here and there. Does that mean that I have an unhealthy relationship with money? Because I know my limits and want to make sure I’m living within them? Because I know what I have available and how to control it so that I meet my financial goals? What would happen if I just ignored my parameters and went all willy-nilly? I’d have a new iPhone and a new wardrobe and a few KitchenAid appliances and a nice shiny new camera. And a pissed husband. And probably a forclosure notice. (Just like if I ate willy-nilly, I’d have health problems, worse self-esteem issues, and I’d weight 237+ again. I’m just saying.)
I’ve been focusing on the word relationship a lot lately. So I started thinking about my relationships with people and how they might be similar to my relationship with food. There are relationships in my life that aren’t perfect. I have people in my life that are difficult. We all do, right? But how do we keep these relationships healthy and functioning? We find ways to make them work. We compromise. I choose when and in what situations to spend time with certain people. I bite my tongue sometimes. I choose which situations to address and which to just let roll off my back. I know that sometimes I won’t get my way, but I compromise in order to preserve the relationship. So that we still work together and enjoy each other’s company. I put the relationship first, even if that means not getting what I want or think I deserve.
And I think my relationship with food is similar. I would love for it to be easy. I’d love to be the kind of person that could eat intuitively. Who could listen to my body’s cues and eat what my body tells me to eat. But my relationship with food and my appetite is one that needs work and compromise. It is a difficult relationship. We don’t communicate well. We don’t always look out for each other’s best interest. We’re kind of passive-aggressive. We’re kind of selfish. And THAT is unhealthy.
Maybe this calorie counting is a phase. Maybe it’s a tool I won’t use when I am able to better listen to my intuitive voice regarding hunger and food. Or maybe it’s something I’ll have to do for the rest of my life. And, really? How hard is it to log into an app on my iPhone and plug my food in? Isn’t it worth that little effort to keep track of where I am and maintain my health?
I don’t think I’m obsessive. I don’t think you have to be in order to count calories. Even when I’m 100% focused, I take days off. I have gelato. I have a waffle. But I count it. And I run an extra mile. Or I have a snack the next day with fewer calories. Or I just chalk it up to enjoying myself and I go on. Just because I count calories doesn’t mean I’m rigid.
Also, just because I count calories doesn’t mean I’m choosing the lowest calorie version of everything. Other than milk (2% baby!), I ALWAYS have full-fat dairy – yogurt, cheese, sour cream. It’s worth the extra calories for me. I eat a lot of nuts and nut butters. I eat what I consider quality food. Even if they are calorie dense. A runner needs good fuel, right?
So, for me, counting calories is necessary. It’s a compromise I’m more than willing to make in order to get what I want. To improve the relationship between me and my health. To look better, to feel better, to be better.
I totally understand if counting isn’t for you. But it is for me. And I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with that. Maybe that’s what got my fire going – the judgment that counting calories equates with “disordered eating.” Because, for me, the disordered eating comes when I don’t count (i.e. this whole damn summer).
*and now that that’s off my chest, I can get in my car and go buy new running shoes!*
I totally agree with you. I have tried so many times not to count calories. I have told myself that I shouldn’t obsess, if I don’t think too hard it will happen, ect. You name the excuse–I’ve given it to myself. However, I have found that I was really just looking for a good excuse to not have to be accountable. I didn’t want to count–because I knew I would go over. If I went over–I would feel guilty. Who wants to feel that? Well, I have finally realized that at least for me–not necessarily for all–that calorie counting is a must. The one thing I have done that helps me feel less obesessive–is making three meals each at 400 calories. I count them as I make the meal. This way–I don’t have to write it down. I can almost forget it–but not quite. So far, it’s really working. So, here’s to counting and to healthy goals!
I definitely need to count either calories/points. It helps me to make healthy choices and honestly I believe i have a healthier relationship with food than i do when i don’t count.
AAAAAAAARGH!
It drives me nuts when people say calorie counting is unhealthy! For realz, yo? Seriously! I think it’s just a protective measure for those who find themselves unable to balance counting calories with listening to their bodies. It is NOT an all-or-nothing, one-or-the-other thing. I count calories, but I also listen to my own hunger cues. If I’m not hungry, I skip my morning snack. If I’m extra hungry, I add something to my meal or add a snack. And because my calorie budget is a range, I can have that flexibility.
I love the financial planning metaphor–great parallel! I think you need to write a post about how you count calories but balance that with listening to what your body needs (and what you do when that doesn’t necessarily fit your “budget”).
Thanks for posting this!
I have to count calories BECAUSE I have disordered eating patterns.
I yearn for the day I can eat intuitively, but as you said, not today. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
Good for you. Do what makes you confident and has shown you the outcomes you were striving to achieve!
I think it’s unfair for the lady to make such grand statements. She has her right, but had she of changed her wording to “I think counting calories is unhealthy for ME” then okay fine, but making the claim that it is unhealthy for everyone is bold.
I think for me (and I’m guilty of the same bold statements) I get annoyed by anyone in the “weight loss/wellness/health” world who makes claims for everyone like “you must stop eating red meat…you must eat 1,200 calories a day… you must be vegan…you must eat oatmeal everyday for breakfast… you must practice yoga…you must be a runner…you must lift weights…. you must eat fat free yogurt… you must never eat white flour….
I think all of these bold claims has everyone up in arms. There have been sooo many misleading weight loss claims over the years that I think we have to find what is right for us as individuals. What we are willing to change to see results.
I’ve personally given up on counting anything and right now have no weight loss to show for it. I hope to one day, and I know that if I started counting calories again I could lose weight very quickly like I did in the past, but would end up right back where I started when something in my life tripped me up and I didn’t feel like counting anymore.
This is what has made me step back and change gears. Try something else. Trust myself. It’s hard. The whole thing, counting, not counting… we just have to support each other and trust we will get there the best way we know how. Letting each other grow and change.
You’re getting there. You’re doing what is right for you.
Thank you so much for writing that post. I had read Roni’s blog that night and really didn’t agree with the statement. But you really thought this through and what you wrote resonated with me in so many ways. I think I may have to go back to counting calories. I want to eat intuitively, but I think that things just get out of control really easily. And like you said, willy-nilly can cause lots of problems in the end. I’m going to save this post to re-read whenever I get discouraged about counting.
I have eaten intuitively and lost a lot of weight.
I have counted points and lost a lot a of weight.
Both (and many other times) I have gained it all back. Bottom line? It was because I was “dieting.” I didn’t have the skills or drive to maintain the healthy choices for long-term.
NOW I am counting calories and it is helping me to make informed decisions. Like the Santa Fe Chicken salad at Applebee’s that I would eat when I was feeling like I wanted to be healthy? almost 1300 calories! I don’t sacrifice the things that I really want, I make decisions. I feel that right now, I am seeing food as fuel FIRST, and that I am truly on my way to a HEALTHY relationship with food for all of the right reasons for the first time in my life!
Great post. (As always!)
Totally agree with you, Krissie. At the end of the day, it’s a personal choice. There is no “one size fits all” path. I know that, for me, I will never lose weight without some control and accountability. And I want to make my own bold statement here:
Our society makes it VERY hard to lose weight simply through intuitive eating.
How many times have you been SHOCKED to real the caloric content of something? How often have you dug into a larger-than-needed portion of something (i.e. a whole bag of chips) only intending to eat one serving, then 15 minutes later realize you’ve actually eaten THREE servings?
Intuitive eating is so hard because we’re surrounding with fatty, sugary, addictive foods and our bodies have a complicated relationship with these foods. Wouldn’t it be so easy if our bodies said, “Welp, I’ve had 1600 calories today. I’m all good! No more food, please.” It’s pretty hard to hear that cue if 600 of those calories were spent on a frappuccino that provided no nutritional value whatsoever and left you hungrier than before.
If people can lose weight without counting, more power to them. But I feel like counting is a readjustment tool that is critical for long-term success, at least for me. How can you ever get a grip on your portion sizes if you don’t consistently see what a normal portion looks like and feels like once you’ve consumed it? Counting is like hitting the “reset” button on out-of-control behaviors.
Great post!!
Ugh. I totally agree with you. Nothing gets my goat more than someone saying: “No one can ever be good by doing X.” We’re all different people and what works for some people doesn’t work for others. I know for myself that the first time I lost weight I did it “intuitively”–basically I just started eating less and less and watched the scale numbers drop. When I worked it out I was eating very few calories a day–like 1000-1200. After a while my body “intuitively” told me to start eating more and I put back on about 20 pounds. Now I count calories, and while I may not be losing weight as fast at least I’m eating enough to be healthy.
There is no cookie cutter plan for weight loss/health.. if someone creates an absolute then they are ignorent…
Personally- Counting calories works if I’m 100% mentally in a good place. If I’m in a bad place then counting calories doesn’t work. It makes me more hungry/irritable/stressed/guilty. I actually stopped counting calories because I’m going through a lot of transition right now and don’t want the additional stress. Instead before I eat I take a deep breath and ask if I’m hungry and if this is what I need to feed my body. (If it’s a cookie then it’s not going to feed my body) When I do that I’m more in control on the amount of “treats” I sneak in and do better at losing/maintaining weight.
If you can maintain a healthy attitude while counting it works… if you can’t then it make exacerbate the problem.. that’s why it’s important to understand yourself (and not judge others eat without guilt)….
I’m just starting on a health journey. I can’t imagine not counting calories or restricting what I eat or some form of modification. I didn’t get here because I was doing that in the first place. I just wanted to say that I happened upon your blog and it has given me a lot of inspiration. Thank you!
can i just say…i heart you.
I echo what Val said. I’ve spent so long counting various things (points, calories, fat grams, carbohydrates, cups of water, etc) that I just cannot make myself do it any more. I’ve recently lost 30 pounds without counting a thing. The pounds would likely have come off faster if I had counted, but I am not in a mental space where that would be healthy for me. It just increases the obsession and self-loathing. FOR ME. I would never prescribe this for anyone else, though. Your reasons for what you do are great. For you. :)
Well said! I agree with you 100%. I, too, count calories, and that’s the only way I’ve been successful at losing weight. And frankly, my relationship with food is healthier than ever because of it.
I saw that too. Engaged in one back and forth, was immediately frustrated, bit my tongue and went to the beach!
As you know my 185 pounds all came off by counting calories. I don’t normally write them down anymore but I do think about them and if it’s an unknown item, I make sure to look. I am occasionally still surprised.
Love this post.