I wish I could say that I’d be doing these posts on a certain day or something, but it’s just not the case. It’s more like when my starred posts in my reader build up. Or when I go looking for something. But, regardless, these are the posts that have inspired me lately.

Dude. You need to go see these Pumpin Scones that Lynn made. I need them in my life stat. I need to bake more in general. But especially these. She also made pumpkin spice syrup. I think she’s on a mission to get Nathan and I to move next door. But then we’d beat down her door every day whenever she cooked, so it’s probably not a good idea.

And while I’m talking about food? Primal Matriarch’s Broccoli Cheese Soup had me salivating. And ready for fall. Maybe even winter. Did I tell you that Nathan addressed our Christmas cards on Sunday? Yes, we’re that excited to be out of summer.

One of the most striking statements I’ve read in quite a while came from this post by A Deliberate Life. She was writing about self loathing and how she ate to push fear aside and her weight cycle. And then she said this:

Most of my diets weren’t diets.
They were punishments for being fat.

And tears of shock came to my eyes. It shook me to my core. I lived like that for so long. It’s where I’ve been for the last few months. The whole post is fantastic. Go check it out.

I am so proud of Bitch Cakes that I almost can’t stand it. She became a Lifetime Weight Watchers member last week. I’ve read her for a long time. I feel like we are following the same path in a lot of ways. She hit a bump for a while where she gained and then fought to get back into control. When she decided that she wasn’t content with the weight she had lost and was going to do a final push to be in the “normal” BMI category, it struck a cord for me. All those months ago, because of her I decided that I wasn’t going to be happy with 175. I was going to do this all the way this time. As much as I’ve struggled the last few months and would love to be at 175 again, she has taught me that even that isn’t good enough for me. I deserve even better than that.

So often, I feel like Jen is writing what I’m thinking. Recently she posted about behavioral cycles that just have me mesmerized. I can’t stop thinking about them and ways to break them. Go check ‘em out. You just might learn something about yourself.

Any post that mentions Lord of the Rings always gets my vote. But Annie’s? About how we all need a Sam? We all have a chance to turn back, but we don’t. Beautifully said, Sam.

And I love Pioneer Woman. I think she is hilarious and humble and I think we would be friends. There are two posts in particular that I am drawn to. She made a list of things she’s learned about blogging. I’d love to write a list of my own, but so much would be what she said. This is my approach as well. Especially #10.

And her latest photo collection has been “funny.” They have kept me in stitches. The one of the kid with his feet in the toilet! Bahaha. But no picture makes me laugh more than this picture I took several years ago in the middle-of-nowhere North Carolina.

Get away goat! I just love it.

Anyone that you guys thing I need to be reading? I’m up for recommendations for new blogs! (and hoping to see @Amysquest back soon!)

Ahhh, #followfriday on Monday. I love being a rebel.

I don’t even know when I started reading Amy Beth of Ministry So Fabulous. Or how in the world I found her. I tend to read and support mostly weight loss bloggers (because I limit how many I read and I’m just friends with so many of y’all!), but she was one of the first that found me stepping out of that genre.

And she pulled me in. What keeps me coming back is how much often I feel like I’m reading about myself. Because even though what we long for is different, the emotions behind our heartaches follow a similar path.

She’s a girl out to live a life side-by-side with God and everyone she loves. She is somehow able to put aside her own desire for a husband and a family and make room in her heart and her home for several little girls. Despite her heart breaks and her medical issues, she keeps on keeping on. She does what needs to be done. She cares for so many other people. Even though she wants to retreat into herself and her pain, she makes even larger sacrifices and makes sure she has a role in the lives of those who are important to her. Her resolution and her commitment inspire me every day. To have more faith. To give when I feel empty.

She often talks about how she feels toward God within her situations, which is something I don’t do well. I’m not good about telling God about my anger or disappointment or confusion because I’m afraid I’ll end up at a place of blame. I’m not good questioning God and that can lead me to stuff things, avoid church, and get stuck in the cycle of being partially honest with God because for some reason I feel like I should always be thankful. I know that God can handle my anger and my disappointment, but I have such a hard time giving those over to Him. And I think she is teaching me how.

As I was thinking this morning about what I wanted to say about Amy Beth, I realized the impact she has had on me and how I write here. She embraces pain without being consumed by it. She writes about pain in a way that is beautiful and respectful, honest and raw. But not dramatic or theatrical or pity-inducing. I’ve never actually had the thought, “How would Amy Beth express this?” but I might as well have. Maybe I’ve been reading her all this time so I would be better equipped to tell you all about Gnomie. I like that thought.

So, yeah. I love Amy Beth. And I’ve probably never told her that. (She’s also incredibly cool in my eyes because closes all comments. Wow. Writing without feedback is a concept I admire so much.) But she did email me back last week and I felt like I’d gotten an email from Pioneer Woman or something. That’s how much I love this girl.

Oh, and her photography? It’s also awesome.

The first blog I ever felt connected to.

The first blog I ever left a comment on.

The first blogger I met at an outlet mall.

The first blogger I ever shredded with.

The first blogger I’ve ever roadtripped with into the city and the sticks.

The first blogger who called my husband a Christmas Hobo as a term of endearment.

The first blogger that drove down to cheer us on at our half marathon.

The first person, other than Nathan, that I told when I found out I was pregnant.

And the person who knew just what I needed.

I loves my Fat Bridesmaid.

Please tell me that you are already reading her. That you’ve been reading her for years. That she is your bestest blog friend ever.

Because she’s mine.

She is who she is and never apologizes for it. She works hard and laughs hard and plays hard. She makes big Lent goals and challenges me to do the same. She says out loud what I only think in a tiny voice in my head.She

And she texts me when we’re 90 miles apart and blitzed while eating sushi. L4L!

Go tell her hi!

…and some you just believe in. And hope it comes out even. ~Aimee Mann

I told Nathan something incredibly pathetic today. I need to tell you too.

I don’t know how much weight I’ve gained back. I’ve been eating terribly. Not bad food, just bad amounts. I haven’t exercised in over a week. Not even thinking about my running schedule. And because of this I feel tired, heavy, and just plain blah.

But I’m not sure I want to change that. Because that’s what I felt like when I was pregnant. Before I knew I was pregnant. And I kinda like that feeling.

And that is pathetic. This is not the behavior that led me to a body that I was comfortable in and with. A body that I created and that helped me do so many things I wanted – and still want – to do.

I’m taking things one decision at a time. And tonight, I’m not eating anything after dinner. I’ve made it three hours and I only have 2 left. Baby steps. I want to make grand statements about what I’m going to do, but I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment. I’ll just have a few good days in a row and tell you about it after the fact.

I also told Nathan that I’m getting really close to the point where I want to be called out. Where I want him to tell me to get out of bed and put my shoes on. Where I want him to point out my unnecessary eating. I’m almost there.

And until then? I’m tired of writing about myself. And I wouldn’t blame you for being tired of reading about me. So I’m not going to write about me. I’m going to write about you.

Think of the next week or so as a #followfriday of sorts. My favorite bloggers presented to you. Complete with the why I love them. I mean, really, what can do me better than a big dose of inspiration? First installment will be up in the morning!

(And my dear cross-border-food-exchange exercise-crazed Amy, can you PLEASE get your blog back up so I’ll have somewhere to link?)