questions for dessert » sermons

and it’s all for the love of thee

krissie — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:58:00 +0000

We went to church tonight. The music was beautiful. It was a beautiful sermon, asking us to try to imagine the scenes that occurred the last week of Jesus’s life. It was such a moving sermon, helping me see Jesus as a person, and what people actually saw when they saw Him. Mr. Preacher Man showed several images to remind us the power of pictures.

This one breaks my heart. She wanted to sleep beside her husband one last time. She was playing his favorite songs. I cannot even imagine.I cried the remainder of the sermon. This picture so evoked my love for Nathan. We left church several hours ago, and I still don’t think I could look him in the face without losing it again.

And I cried because grandfather is in the middle of a struggle with cancer. He is in the hospital and is having surgery again tomorrow. The fact that my mother is giving me limited information tells me that there is a lot I do not know. We are headed home in the morning, so I will get to see him tomorrow. I know my Papaw is a man of great faith. My heart breaks for my Mamaw. He is all she has ever known. I don’t like to ask a lot of you guys, but I would appreciate any prayers you could send his way. I wanted to share a picture of them from my Mamaw’s baptism.I hope you all have a wonderful Easter. I will be enjoying my family. I hope you do as well.

and all will see

krissie — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 02:32:00 +0000

i listened to an amazing sermon today. mr. southland preacher discussed how big God is. he talked about the enormous stars and the incredible size of the universe. in particular, a star called betelgeuse that is twice the size of the earth’s orbit around the sun. millions of light years away. if the earth was a golf ball, betelgeuse would be the size of 6 empire state buildings stacked on top of each other. and he made me think. how can i question my God when He is big enough to have created something that big? mr. southland said,

Most of my praying life, I have been advising God, correcting God, suggesting things to God, throwing diagrams at God, reviewing things with God, counseling God…No more, no more, because BeetleJuice rocked my world.

he also talked about several other large stars, but then he got molecular: he talked about laminin. those are the proteins that hold the cells in our bodies together. and, scientifically, what does laminin look like?

so not only is God in the ginormous things, He is also in the very small things. specifically, in me. a representation of Jesus literally holds me together. the visual in that was huge for me. and i was just listening while i was driving.

a God who created massive stars in millions of universes that we cannot even begin to fathom also created me: a tiny grain of sand on a tiny dot revolving around a small star.

i belong to God. i belong to Nathan. everything else is just details.

this is all a game

krissie — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 00:56:00 +0000

Well, I am exhausted.

I’m having a hard time adding an hour commute each way to work and back. But I am having time to listen to great sermons.

I’m currently listening to a series about the roles of the Holy Spirit from Southland Christian Church. It’s a church that Nathan and I used to go to, and we have some friends who still do. I get the podcasts from iTunes and really enjoy them. Anywho, the sermon and a half I listened to today spoke of how Jesus takes the following roles in our lives:

Counselor – always there, always listening, always guiding. Hover, His voice is not loud. We can get distracted by noise and not hear Him. What is noise in my life? Food, tv, spending money. I need to pare back. And that’s what I’m trying to do.
Gardener – I really liked this imagery. We are in the process of being pruned, being refined, and sometimes we are pruned to a point of looking scraggly and thin in order to grow full and strong. We have to allow God time to transform us, just like our plants don’t become beautiful overnight.
Attorney – When we are living in sin, the Holy Spirit has the role of persecutor to bring us to our honest selves through conviction. But as we are forgiven and work toward a holy life, Jesus becomes our defense attorney, as he paid our price and provided our pardon.
Surgeon – God took the broken pieces of my life and put me back together. Not with a magic wand that was clean and pretty and immediate. But like a surgeon, He continues to dig around in me and change me by taking out the bad stuff and sewing me back up. Great imagery.
I still have Scout, Postman, and River to listen to. All in all, good stuff.

I ate pretty well today. Starbucks and banana for breakfast. Apple and spinach salad for lunch. Black bean burger, corn, and Jell-o for dinner. I really wanted ice cream, but Nate didn’t want to go. Thanks Nate!

You probably won’t hear from me again until Sunday or Monday. We’re headed to Washington Courthouse, Ohio for my friend Vanessa’s wedding. I’m sure I’ll have pics when we get back. I’m really hoping that over the weekend someone will come and look at the house. We’re working hard enough to keep it clean and show-worthy! And when I get back, I’ll start getting BookCrossing books out. Remember, if you want a book, email me your address!!

Still no exercise. And I watched some tv. But Grey’s Anatomy is on and I’m not watching!

Have a great weekend!

beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

krissie — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 14:09:00 +0000

Wow. I knew I’d been busy, but I didn’t know I’d gone 2 days without posting. Geez.

Things have been really busy. We’ve officially got our house on the market. That’s really scary. We don’t know what we’ll get out of it, and that will determine what we are able to afford when we move. It’s discouraging to me that we’ve put all this work into the house and we’re not going to see the financial gain we’d expected. Or I guess just that we’d hoped for.

And how have I coped with this? Eating and tv. Groan.

Eating has been terrible. We had Taco Bell for dinner last night. (Although for lunch the last 2 days I had the tomato and mozzarella salad from Panera and it’s amazing.) I am trying so hard to be back on track. So hard. This morning was Starbucks and banana. Lunch will be black bean burgers, and hopefully fish or shrimp for dinner. I am trying to focus on my eating. Focus on better eating.

Yeah, and we’ve been watching a lot of Seinfeld. And last night I watched the rerun of Oprah. It was the first installment of the Life Your Best Life Diet. Bob Green kept telling them (and me) that we need to figure out why we are fat before we can expect to change it. He said that when we say things like, “I like food” or “I’m just lazy” we are just lying to ourselves. So that’s my job for today. Why am I fat? I am a therapist. I can figure this out.

I have been listening to sermons on my way home though. That’s been good for me. Monday’s was about marriage and how we approach marriage and how we involve God in our marriages are the ways to make it work. I guess I take for granted that I have a strong marriage. I have never even thought that divorce could ever be an option. That’s almost laughable to me. I guess I don’t think about the people that don’t have a connection to God and how that impacts their connection to a spouse. It was fascinating to me.

The sermon yesterday talked about secrets, referencing postsecret. He spoke of how keeping secrets is detrimental and involves lying to others, ourselves, and God. I really liked it.

(By the way, if you ever want a sermon that I reference, feel free to contact me and I’ll tell you which podcast it’s from. All the sermons I download are available through iTunes.)

Today is going to be a great day. Independence Day. I am going to try very hard to do things in a mindful way today, thinking of how I am freeing myself of things and of baggage and of whatever it is that is keeping me fat. Wish me luck.

Have a great Independence Day if you’re American, and just have a great day if you are something else!

I can change, I can change

krissie — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 02:01:00 +0000

Happy Friday! This will be rambling, but it’s been a full day! I’ll just be chronological.

I actually got to do some productive things at work! I think I am really going to like my job. I’m not actually doing therapy anymore, I’m managing foster homes and other case managers. I actually have people that I manage. That’s so cool! I really enjoy it so far.

On the way home, I finished listening to the sermon I almost finished yesterday. I still didn’t like it. I went back and listened again to the part that I thought was controversial, and she still said that following a scripted weight loss or exercise plan was an idol. I don’t agree with that. I think that spending an hour on Saturday and planning my week keeps me from being fixated on food all week. But that’s just me.

Then I listened to a sermon out of Mars Hill, minister being the Rob Bell whose books I love but don’t necessarily agree with everything he says. The sermon I listened to today was really good. He talked about leaving control and seeking faith. It really hit home to me and my control issues. More than that, though, hearing the message today really comforted me. God will take care of today. I don’t need to worry. I will do what I can about selling the house, and finding a new one, but God will take care of that today when it comes.

I ate REALLY well today.

B: Starbucks and banana
L: banana, peanut butter, and honey on flat-out bread, an apple
D: flat bread pizza
S: Wheat Chex and 1% milk

After dinner, Nathan and I took a huge load of stuff to Goodwill. I decided that I wasn’t going to keep many of my skinny clothes. Considering I wore them 3 years ago, and I still have a long way to go, they would be out of style before I could wear them again. We also had a lot of sheets and blankets that we haven’t used since we moved, and rugs that we don’t use since we refinished the floors. We fit almost all of it in the car, and we’ll make a second trip in the morning. (Don’t worry…the garbage bags are all full of stuff, not trash.)

Tonight I painted the stairs inside the house. Or I primed them atleast. I took a before pic, but I’ll wait and post it with the after. Nathan also got the pantry painted, and I’ll post before and afters of it as well.

Have a great weekend!

daylight come and I wanna go home

krissie — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 23:43:00 +0000

I know I weighed in yesterday, but today I decided to be honest and actually post my weight. Today I am at 221.8. Almost as low as I was during this most recent round of Weight Watchers. Go me! I am hungry a lot, but I’m determined to push through it. I really want a bowl of cereal, but fitday won’t load, so I don’t know how much I’ve eaten today without it, and I don’t know if I want cereal because I’m hungry or because I’m bored or because I’m craving something that is in Wheat Chex. Boo FitDay!

But today’s eating has been good:

B: Starbucks and banana

L: Kashi Sweet and Sour Chicken with broccoli

D: Grilled Tomato Pasta and broccoli

Work was also good today. I think I am really going to enjoy my new job. Although today there was a wreck and I had to turn around and it took me almost 2 hours to get home. It’s all good, though. I spent the time listening to a sermon that really confused me.

So I’m listening to this lady talk about gluttony. I know, none of us really wants to hear that. But she had me hooked. She started by talking about her own story and how she used her desire to be skinny and her love of food as roadblocks to God. I bought that. And I think that is something I have struggled with as well. She then discussed that in order to fight the battle of the bulge from a spiritual standpoint, we must give up our need to control things ourselves. We must repent of our gluttonous behaviors, ask for forgiveness, and allow God to help us. Again, I got that. I eat too much, I eat too often, I don’t move enough, and I am not enough to fix that. I may have sporatic successes, but I can only do this for the right reasons if I let God drive. I have to want God to change my heart not just my body. That really spoke to me. I do often pray for comfort in my skin, for positive feelings of self-worth, for some sort of magical change that will turn my body around. But I pray for the changes to occur on the outside, not on the inside. What I did learn today is something I already know: I cannot do this by myself. And I must ask for, and accept, a change in my heart.

But then the sermon got really confusing for me. (And I still have 12 minutes left to listen to, so she may wrap it all up nicely.) She talks about how we use idols. We use food, television, other distractions as idols. These nasty little things also keep us from being the person God wants us to be. She talked about the time that we spend thinking about food, planning food, planning exercise, and that all this time could be spent in more productive ways, like meditating on God and His word. So how am I going to do this? I seriously think that in order for me to not be a glutton, I have to plan. I have to shop once for the week and not deviate from the menu. I have to have my exercise plan written into my calendar. I have to plan. She discussed planning like it would somehow also become an idol that was a distraction from God’s plan. That’s when I stopped listening. I’m going to go finish it up in a few minutes.

I have been doing very good on my 30 day goals. Limited meat in my Kashi meal for lunch. Yes, it is processed food, but it’s Kashi! They care and are trustworthy. Still no tv. It was really hard tonight ’cause That 70′s Show was on while we were eating dinner. But we resisted. I listened to a sermon on the way home. I am going to try really hard to restart C25K Saturday morning. Really hard. I have also been drinking a whole lot of water. That helps me feel better as well.

And I’m going to have a bowl of cereal. I typed out my whole blog, and I still want it. Doesn’t someone say that when you get a craving, you should distract yourself for 20 minutes? I’ve done that, and I still want Wheat Chex.

Kitchen, here I come!